You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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