If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
