Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
