Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish I only lived at night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
