Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
