I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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