Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
someone owes me an orgasm
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
