Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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