Cold hands, warm shart.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
