Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
