do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
