PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
