i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
