My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i need some magic done to my vagina
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
