You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm passing your future prison.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
