overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
