I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
