did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
