epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
