why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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