shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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