what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
