Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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