i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
