Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
