just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
