Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He felt like a one man threesome
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
