i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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