i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Someone shit on the floor
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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