Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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