Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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