While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
