There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
