I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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