That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
