I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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