I hope my margaritas pass through security.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize