did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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