i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
