Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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