ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
