Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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