He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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