i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
