ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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