Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize