I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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