I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
