chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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