Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
