my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
