I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
