high people should be assigned attendants
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
