I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize