i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
