he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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