Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She bit a glass in half.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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