Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
