i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
