Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
