I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
