so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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