You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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