I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
