Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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