I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
