did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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