i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
